A Peaceful Moment

Today during my lunch break I went somewhere different. Now I don't mean somewhere different to eat or shop. I decided to pay a visit to my grandma and grandpa at the cemetery. Ironically, my newer job may be far from home but the cemetery is literally 4 minutes away, which in an odd way is home. It's home because a part of me is there with my grandparents.

Cemeteries are usually pronounced wrong (guilty), are found creepy and sad. While I must agree with the latter, they are also surprising peaceful. It's the middle of the week so it was empty, a few scattered people but in the area my grandparents were I was alone. I had eaten a late breakfast at work thus I took the opportunity to get out of the office. I first stopped at Walgreens to pick up a few things one of those being a Word Search puzzle book. I drove to the cemetery and I haven't been there in years... but I still knew the way to the grave. The minute I turned into the cemetery I already felt at peace. I parked and walked to the grave site with the sounds of wind chimes, the gentle breeze blowing, the smell of flowers.

My grandparents are not buried in the ground they are in a wall tomb so to speak, all the way to the top right corner. As I sat down on the bench in front of the wall I began to cry... there are days where it is harder to not have them here. There are days when I need their advice, to maybe just hear their voice. There are days when I need to know they are not disappointed in me and today was one of those days. My grandfather I did not know for long (4 years) because cancer won, but my grandmother I was close to. I remember her but her voice has faded, her mannerisms... I wish I could just hear and see her.

After I let go, I realized how quiet it was, peaceful, beautiful in a way. I took out the Word Search booklet and started. My grandma loved those. We would do them together, she taught me tricks on how to find words faster and it kept the brain sharp. She would go through those books like milk, two books a week probably. I even bought her as a Christmas present a subscription! I felt it was symbolic and appropriate to take a word search to the cemetery. I thought maybe it would be a connection, a link and also I think she'd find it funny. I felt being on my phone would be disrespectful.

In a hectic work day, this peaceful moment was just what I needed. I hope they heard what I had to say, I hope they know how much I love and miss them, I hope there was a connection spiritually that I cannot see.